Dear Funmilayo,
As I write this letter, you are about to turn 25 in just two months. I know you feel like you need help—therapy, healing, and peace.
First and foremost, you carry a lot of anger and resentment. What you feel is deep hurt, not just a simple temper. The pain is so intense that sometimes it feels like it could destroy you or the people involved. You often sit quietly, thinking about it, replaying how it has shaped your life. Even though you try each day to become a better person, the truth is this anger is killing you slowly. It makes you miserable, and yet, in a strange way, it has also made you stronger.
I will not tell you that your resentment is unjustified—because it isn’t. Society often silences women and makes them feel they cannot express their pain or anger. But holding onto that hurt has only directed your resentment toward God, toward love, and toward yourself. That is not where it belongs.
The truth is, you are furious at those who abused you when you were very young. You are even more angry at your father. He abused your mother, failed to protect you, and instead became the very first man to break your heart. Sadly, you cannot confront him anymore—he died thirteen years ago. Yet, the pain remains, and so you’ve directed your anger toward every man who came after him.
But it is time to face this pain. It is time to acknowledge what happened, address it, and release it. You need to forgive—not because they deserve it, but because you deserve peace. Healing will not happen overnight, but it will begin when you take action. See a therapist. Go to a rage room and release the weight. Listen to music that lifts you up, even if it’s Eminem blasting through your headphones. Do whatever helps you process, but do not bury the hurt anymore.
Funmilayo, you are a warrior. You are a strong woman. You can choose to turn into a wolf consumed by anger, or into a sheep guided by peace and grace. The choice is yours. Use your strength to protect, not to destroy. Direct your energy into healing, growing, and helping others.
You may feel depressed, overwhelmed, and filled with self-hate right now. But remember this: God has not abandoned you. Seek Him, find Him, and allow Him to guide you through this season. Let Him lead you toward healing and love.
I promise you—healing is possible. Forgiveness is possible. Peace is possible. You will not carry this pain forever.
I will write to you again someday, and when I do, I hope to see how far you’ve come.
With love, always rooting for you,
Your older self.